Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
