there's paper in my vomit.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
