Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize