He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
