I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
