Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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