Do you still have your period?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
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