just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
