Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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