Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
