I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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