Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
