woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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