"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
