I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize