My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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