Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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