Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
