so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
