so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
