That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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