My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
