you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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