you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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