your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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