Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
