Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
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