hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
