can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
