Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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