Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
