you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize