I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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