four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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