he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
