"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
