Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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