Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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