playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
