the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
