she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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