I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
