I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
