I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
