I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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