dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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