Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
