Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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