They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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