Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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