how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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