Kiss
Puke
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
