I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
