Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
