Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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