so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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