He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
