Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
