Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
